Short Draft: Something New

questions b/f I start reading your story: title? only one paragraph? why doesn't your story have any sense of format? review how to handle / format dialogue
There once was a young man named Peter. He had always longed for something new in his life, but never knew where to look for it. He felt left out and afraid of the world. Everyone<who? <put people in Peter's life for readers seemed to live their lives with the help of everyone else. They either needed the drama or sympathy from someone else. <being too broad and general <get to the details < He felt alone and needed an escape. He looked out his window from his little house and saw the heavy snow flakes fall to the ground. The brightness of the snow lit the darkness and he could see little drifts begin to form. He thought to himself, "While the world sleeps ill <proofread enjoy what they are missing." Still longing for something new, he grabbed his shovel and ran outside. He didn't know what he wanted or what he was looking for, but he just started digging. He dug and he dug until he was in over his head. He started to dig a tunnel. <dug hole in the ground or the snow? He was began to get a little nervous. He thought about the snow caving in behind him and he would be trapped forever, but because he was this far in he might as well dig a little more. All of a sudden he heard an odd noise. At first he began to panic and tried to back out of his tunnel, but before he could turn a round he saw a hand poke through the end of his tunnel. He was to afraid to moved. First a hand, then an arm.<cool twist! He thought that maybe someone was buried and was still alive, but couldn't get out. Peter stared to help dig the figure out, when the arm went back through. "Hello?" Peter called. "Who's There?" a voice yelled out. It was a girl. "I'm Peter," he said. They kept digging until their two tunnels became one. He didn't know what to say, and she didn't either. Finally he got up the courage and said, "What are you doing?" She looked up at him and said, "Im looking for something new." <perfect ending!I like your story, Derek. Your character, Peter,who triumphs over an obstacle by means of a magical or supernatural element, is clearly on a quest for something important and specific. Again, review my comments for direction, and once we get to the revision section, you’ll have a few different opportunities to re-see this piece. --Gary